Slinky Action War Zone

I was 16 weeks pregnant when I had my 4th Ultrasound with Leah. Most women are lucky to get 2, at most. I didn't think I was lucky. Four weeks prior, when I was still getting used to being pregnant, the routine prenatal tests the Dr's. suggested I'd take had come back with dismal news. Leah was most likely a carrier for Cystic Fibrosis.

I went through a pain-staking amniocentesis to discover that she did in fact have this disease.

 

(My ultrasound the day of my first amnio)

 

I was offered my first "opportunity", as they saw it, to terminate.

Because I chose otherwise, they sent me in for a 2nd opinion.

At 16 weeks pregnant, more than half way to go, I had lost all joy. Was I bringing a baby into this world that had no hope to begin with? Am I being selfish continuing with this?

At the third hospital, they not only confirmed her CF, but they also broke the news that Leah would be born without the rest of her right arm.

How am I going to deal with this? I don't know what it's like to be without an arm, so how will I raise someone without one? What do I tell everyone? The questions only went on and on. Worst of all, they stopped referring to her as a baby, and started referring to her as a "genetic mutant". Did I make the right decision?

 

Like any other normal day, trying to fight boredom, and two toddlers, I decided to head to Slinky's. I hoped and prayed that this would tire them out, and I might get a nap in too.

We got there early, the place was bare. I was excited at the thought they could have the place almost to themselves to wreak their havoc. Leah loves these opportunities. She thrives on running at the speed of light and I won't have to tell her NO a thousand times. Not even 20 minutes goes by, and it was quickly becoming crowded.

I finally rediscovered Leah in the ball pit, and a little boy around five, throwing balls at her. I politely asked him to stop. To see this boy, he did not fit in. Khakis, Sweater-Vest, and the attitude to match. He climbed out of the ball pit, came over to my friend and I, and began to tell us about "The one armed guy over there". My heart sank a tiny bit as he ran away. Did that just happen? I'm used to kids asking questions, but never this brazen.

 

Another while had gone by, chasing Liam around the entire area, on and off rides, when I began to notice the same kid, Preston, gathering kids around Leah. Wherever she went he followed her gathering his posse, saying things like "Guys there she is, the one armed girl".

I just stood there. Frozen. Blood boiling. And I definitely would be lying if I said I didn't think about tackling this kid.

But I did absolutely nothing.

A few times I followed him as he ran to his mother, cluelessly texting, oblivious that her son was turning my daughter into a Zoo exhibit.

This is what I had been preparing for, for 3 years now. The only thing that had stopped me, was Leah. She had no idea what was happening. She was too busy making new friends, and having the time of her life. When she went down the slides she would run over to us, elated, saying, " I did it, I'm going again!"

When we left, I felt wrong for not stopping that boy, or at least talking to his Mother.

 

In the days since, I've been reading a book that I purchased Bill for Christmas; Heroes for My Son, by Brad Meltzer.

Page after Page filled with characters such as Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela, Team Hoyt, Dr. Seuss, and Miep Gies. I chuckled to my self, reading their bios and realizing, what my children have taught me.

I could have said something, but that kid will always be that kid, because his mother is who is Mother is. She watched her son throw balls at other kids, let him bully kids in the areas designated for toddlers, and most of all ignored him being cruel to others.

 

Children are born curious; not cruel

 

My Children are my heroes, and most days when I'm trying to teach them a life lesson in between the millionth episode of Dora the Explorer and wrestling them to bed, they teach me a thing or two.

Children are fearless. They triumph in adversity. They do not fail; they only try again. There is no black and white. They find joy in the smallest thing. And hopefully, if all of our parenting doesn't get in the way, they'll continue to be the Good in the world.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



8 levels of An Angry Mommy

 

 

I don't think that my kids are "bad kids". I think I have two very loud crazy rambunctious kids.

 

One of the best feeling in the world is managing to make it to the store when your kids have eaten, napped, and woke up on the right side of their toddler bed. And on these days when you are shopping with your little angels, you hear a screaming tyke in the background. Leah gives me a funny look and says, "oh, the baby's sad". I say something around the idea of "Yeah, doesn't she look silly" (Hopefully shaming any future incidents)

And then the parent, looking at my beautiful, quiet, little angels, uses them as the example. "Look at those babies, they are being so good, and quiet. I bet they'll get a prize"

In my head, I'm doing a goofy dance, saying Booyah!, my kids are awesome, and you bet your bottom my kids are getting Candy! Maybe they'll get candy ALL DAY. How 'bout a pony my sweet lil' darling. Overboard, but it feels like winning the lottery.

 

Today, I got the pleasure of having "the other kids". Now I've only been parenting for 3 years now but I've seen my fair share of phases. The biting phase, hitting, screaming, food throwing, non-sleeping, and most recently the "No" phase. And today was not my day to battle a two year old. I decided to go find a book, and silly me, I actually asked opinions on which book to read, knowing full well what happens when I go to the store with my kids. I fill my cart with leggings, but no matching shirts, snack cakes, shampoo, but not conditioner. That's a mildly tame list but I've walked away with some odd combos.

Today's Goal: Find a new book

Today's Result: Got a book and accomplished the 8 levels to an angry Mom

 

Level 1: The Nice Mommy

We arrived at the bookstore. I said to Leah, "You're going to be a big girl, right?"

Yeah, I knew what I was in for

 

Level 2: The Bargain

"Leah, I bet if you're a really good girl, we will find you a book"

(we have a lot of books at our home)

 

Level 3: The Warning

We usually spout off a line like "That's not nice, please don't be a bad girl"

 

Level 4: The Bribe

By this point Leah was fully engaged in Terrible Two Mode, throwing out No's like they're going outta style. But I was hellbent on finding a book so I initiated the Bribe.

Slightly more intricate than the bargain.

"Ooohh, look Leah, a DORA book. AND I bet if you let mommy even read one title of any single book in this store we'll go to McDonald's (insert Game Show voice)

 

Level 5: The Crazy Eyes And Finger Point

With eyes bugging out of my head and pointer finger out I gave her my best

"DO NOT MAKE ME TELL YOU AGAIN"

 

Level 6: Courtesy Hand/Butt smack

This level is usually frowned upon, but since I've now exhausted 5 previous levels I've tapped her little fingers and threw in some crazy eyes with a side of "Don't touch another single thing"

 

Level 7: The Threat

I've given up hope and throw out a "I guess you aren't getting your book and certainly no McDonald's"

 

Level 8: The Plea

"Please, please, please just act like a functioning human being while I look for one book"

 

I've made it to the counter, 2 books in hand, and the cashier gives me look like can't you Wrangle your little Heathens for a few seconds.

 

I made it to the car, strapped the kids in, and thought to myself; "If someone paid me a million dollars to name 1 of the 2 books I purchased, I don't think I could. Neither one"

 

So to my surprise, I open my bag and discover;

 

 

Some point, in the parenting section, this apparently looked appealing. But hey, I accomplished Today's goal!

 

Moments

 

The other night, on the way to a New Year's Eve party, I asked Bill a simple question. "What was your favorite memory of 2012". I don't know why I asked, I knew his answer, or at least what his gesture would be, but I asked anyways. He shrugged it off and retorted about "Not ranking things".

For me, this was easy. I'm infamous for these sort of things. I've toned down due to the fact that everyone points out how goofy it is, but I'm not one to pass up commemorating something important. I point out that this was Our third Christmas together. I've saved the Wishbone from Our First Thanksgiving Meal we cooked, and everyone has heard multiple variations of Can you believe it's been a whole year since Vacation! And trust me, a lot more menial things that rank in my life. So, this being our 3rd New Years eve together I was feeling nostalgic. Bill pointed out that I was very quiet on the ride there.

 

Inside I was reliving our First New Years eve together. We had driven 4 hours to Baltimore to celebrate with his friend's family, and I had never kissed anyone at Midnight on New Years. I was planning it all out in my head the entire way. The deafening music would become silent to us, the entire room would be cheering on the first seconds of 2011, and we would practically be the only two in the room. (Movies HAVE given me unrealistic expectations!) Instead, before we even arrived I could feel that something was not right. I spent the entire evening on the couch with the stomach flu, oblivious of the Good Time Charlie that I had actually married. Not our finest moment. Fortunately, I'm also a sucker for a Comic relief.

 

When I asked Bill, what I thought was a simple question, I was armed with several responses in case he chose to reciprocate. Being the Reminiscent and Cheesy woman I am, I came up with my list of "Moments" from the last years.

 

 

Most recently, Bill and I celebrated our 2nd anniversary, again with a horrible 1st in the books, there was only up from there. Long story short, we celebrated our first Anniversary with a car that broke down (that morning), I was due any second with Liam, and getting denied for Car Loans. I was prepared for anything come the 2nd time around. I simply knew we were going to Allentown and I needed a dress.

 

The day came and Bill took off to prepare and left his sister, Steph and cousin, Julie to work on me. 2 or something hours later, When they were done, I was speechless. I barely recognized myself and I could hear that Bill had arrived. I felt like I was 16 again, getting ready for Prom, butterflies and all. What would he say, or think? My top moment was simply, the look on his face when I stepped into the room. Neither of us knew what to say. We both smiled from ear to ear. I cannot rate the moments of happiness I feel in my life, or plan for them as they approach. I can only look back and realize, in those unexpected seconds, I will find irreplaceable joy.

 

 

"The Moments of happiness we enjoy, take us by surprise. It is not that we seize them, but that they seize us"