Blizzard Vs. Earthquake

 

Over the past two years Bill and I have been married, I've looked back and thought, how did we ever happen? We are two very opposite people. Within the first few days of knowing each other we made a lot of plans and to my surprise he kept inviting me places. I honestly thought, "Is this some kind of sick joke?" Seriously! The very night I met him I was wearing a pair of Cargo Capris a homemade Tye-dye t-shirt, my hair was in a pony tail and I could bet my life on it that I didn't have a drop of makeup on. Then there was him. Honestly all I remember was that he didn't have a shirt on....that was enough for me.

We had the same taste in goofy Irish songs and we both enjoyed listening to comedians in the car.

I still remember the day we heard Dane Cook's "Nothing Fight"

He sets up the scene of a couple at a grocery store and he was listening from an isle over. They were bickering over Jelly.  The man would simply ask if they had Jelly in their cupboards and she would reply with "Well, I don't even like Jelly" You get the picture, it's a nothing fight. Not a life or death situation and it's probably the reason 50% of marriages end in divorce. Meaningless fights.

We loved this sketch and laughed at these people. Then it happend to us. I was 6 months pregnant and we had been married for 9. Looking back this wasn't a significant amount of time for Bill to get used to my non-hormonal side.

Just an FYI I was born with an overwhelming love of sweets. Multiply that 1000x when I'm pregnant. Hence why I look like an elephant in my maternity photos. It's not pretty. I've actually cried over Junk food before. Bill wanted to do something nice for me by taking me to DQ. I had been asking for a Brownie Earthquake for a while now. We drive up the screen to place our order and Bill says he'd like a brownie blizzard....and that's when Hell froze over. In his recap he says I sounded something like Linda Blair saying " I said I want a brownie Earthquake NOT a Blizzard". He made some joke about them both being weather related and I didn't find it funny. It spiraled out of control from there. This was a nothing fight. I was literally arguing whether I wanted a Brownie topped with Ice Cream or Ice cream with brownie chunks. We rode home in silence. Watched TV in Silence. It's one of those moments where you don't even want to crack a smile at the TV. Do not show one bit of Joy in a nothing fight.

I can't even remember what happened next. Who gave in first and who apologized. These nothing fights lead to nothing but unnecessary silence and wasted time.

My big joke is that I say there are times that I want to rip Bills brains out, but them I'd miss him too much the next day. He says if he has to put up with me for the next 50 years there will probably be years where he doesn't like me very much. But he'll always love me. And if all we really have to fight about is Ice Cream, then I'd say I'm pretty lucky.